Sometimes being single sucks! I love my freedom. Not that being in a relationship will take it away from me but who knows. I'd have to admit that just when I meet someone, my brain cells go crazy whenever freedom and I are concerned.
I make such a futile effort at romance and love and sometimes it just sucks. The one thing I definitely want to get out of it is a child or children. But how can one have a child out of a relationship? I can't have one with myself can I? Craziness strikes again.
I'm a member of an online dating site. I've been one for a few months now. My daily routine is to check the list and see who's interested. I send a heart - like it does matter. lol. This is getting to be a really big joke. I see my friends and classmates' pics on Facebook with their kids and I'm all sad that I still don't have my own.
I make stuff for the kids in the compound where I live - art stuff, drawing, painting and what not. I go swimming with them, I go to the park with them. You name it. But lots of times, I just think that it's all a waste. I'm happy doing it don't get me wrong. But wouldn't it be nice to be making stuff for my own kids? Am I even making any sense today or do I sound like some insane lady who belongs in an asylum? Bad thoughts! Go away. It makes me feel really blue.
