One will never know how much a person means until that very person is taken from us forever. Wilma, was my 'kumare.' I am the godmother of her firstborn. We were neighbors for at least 10 years, spent Christmas and New Year together, ate together when we needed to, shared our food, our homes, had fun, went places, shopped, ate and ate and told endless stories - all except that one story I'm waiting to hear. I guess I'll never get to hear it after all. Wilma was born on August 2, 1983 and passed away at the age of 32, on August 22, 2015.
Wilma,
I don't know how to say this...but you were just gone too soon, my friend. I'm waving at you up there. At least that's my belief. Mornings are difficult. Passing by Pan De Manila or a bakery with pandesal is extremely saddening. You were never too fond of pandesal but somehow, that was the one thing you bought anytime you or your kids were hungry. I will always remember you when I pass by any bakery. The morning sun will never be the same too. I always feel tears ready to fall when I think of you just soaking up the morning sun whenever you could. That's what you liked.
Sobrang hirap tanggapin ang pagkawala mo. Baka kasi super bata ka pa and super bigla. Wala ka man lng nasabi sa amin ni Jessa tungkol sa mga nararamdaman mo. Bakit? Alam ko hirap kayo sa pera pero sana naisip mo rin ang tatlo mong anak. Ang hirap isipin na wala ka na. I guess, you're looking and watching over them from up above. Bakit? Why? That's always what I ask myself when I try to make sense of what happened. One week ago, you were taken from us so suddenly. Kami yung nagmamahal sayo. I don't regret na di kita nakita simula na nagkasakit ka. Alam mo yan. Alam ko di ka makikinig sa akin na magpadala sa ospital. Pero kung ako yung asawa mo...sa ayaw't sa gusto mo - I'd bring you. I always think that if you were brought to the hospital earlier, you probably would still be alive today.
There are so many things that've crossed my mind. Ayoko mag-isip ng masama sa asawa mo. Kilala mo ako. Sabihin mo na lng na medjo idealistic pa ako hanggang ngayon - kahit ang tanda ko na. Pero ganun talaga. I've always believed in the best of everyone.
Diba kakakwento mo lng sa akin nung August 17. Last na kwento mo na pala yun. Alam mo yan. Your stories about your kids have always made me happy. Kahit sabihin ng iba corny. Kahit di ko naman talaga sila kadugo - you made me happy. You always made me happy with stories about them. Parang mga anak ko na rin sila.
I don't know what's going to happen to them now. I feel frustrated because I feel that you were hiding something from us. I remember the times that you came up to my unit and it always looked like you wanted to tell me something but stopped yourself short. I'll never know why but who knows. The truth will always have a way of revealing itself. Were you being hurt? How did you live each day in pain? Did you? Sigh...I hope you show up in my dreams one day and let me know what you were going through. For now, it's all a guessing game. Jessa is traumatized. I feel for her. I know that all I have to do is to be there for her.
Watch over us, okay.
Bye for now.
Marie
