To My Little Sister - Part 10

April 1, 2015

Dear Rose,

One more day to go before I spend the Holy Week there.  It'll have been 25 years since.  The nice thing with hearing mass there at this time of the year is that I know that the Holy Week ceremonies are going to be a lot more solemn and definitely a lot more different than the ones I've seen out here.  Memories of those times are quite faded.  The only thing I remember is the solemnity.  I sure am looking forward to Easter Sunday most of all.

I'm still reeling from how quickly things turned out the way they did.  A lot of people are happy for me and I know a lot of others who may not be too happy.  But you know what?I frankly don't care much.  I'm at an age where I just do the things I need to do in my life.  I don't have a lot of expectations for the Holy Week other than that I will be living in peace with myself and a couple of friends. If I see you,I hope it'll be good. I don't have to talk to you.  I just need to see you're happy.  You have no reason to fake happiness if you aren't.  I'll know as well if you are.  From all that I've heard from Monsie, I'm more inclined to believe that all is well and that you've finally found your niche in that community.  I am also dealing with making peace with that fact.

As you probably will read from my previous letters - I'd rather you stay.  I know that choices need to be made on your own.  But you know what, it really isn't worth the pain, the noise, the pollution, the chaos that is out here.  I like it because it's taken me 25 years of living it, of getting used to.  This is my life now.  Would I return someday, it would probably be safe to say that I'm not closing all my doors at this time.  I can't say for sure.  I like my life out here because there isn't too many rules I need to follow.  For sure, there are rules in that community as we both know so well - the question is whether I'm willing to leave everything and abide by those rules again - of prayer and of work.  Not at this time. I'm to steeped in the way of life here.  It was good that Monsie accepted that fact but that she had advised me to be cautious.  I will keep that in mind.  One cannot be too pious out here as I've learned many a time.  One needs to be strong-willed.  But then I can only do so much.

So, I hope see a glimpse of you in the next few days.

Love ya,
Marie

Note: Super duper late post