March 20, 2015
Dear Rose,
I woke up real early today with a stuffy and running nose. The summer time is well on its way so this is not a welcome feeling. But as always, I'm still ready to write you a letter for the day. There isn't much really. Yesterday was a good day though. I bought another book - Cat & Mouse by James Patterson. It's a murder thriller. After watching countless documentaries, TV series and movie series on psychopath killers, it's little wonder that I still do not have the makings of a killer. Perhaps if I put what I learned into practice it would. But you know what? I just ain't made out of killing material. I have a soft spot for people. Maybe if I stayed longer in there - I'd probably be one as a teen - with that devil may care attitude that I had.
Anyway, I had a meeting with my big, big boss on training methods. It was good. My company is finally seeing the light in terms of technology. The funny thing is, just when I bought by laptop, they tell me now that they ordered a laptop for me to use at work. Anyways, this investment hasn't been in vain. I need as many of the tools as I need to just get to writing and to researching. Plus, they're also requesting for an iPAD. Amazing! It's good to read about things, to relax, just let my brain absorb all the information. I like this learning thing. I'm not a nerd or what - hopefully not. But it's good to read and watch stuff. You'd be surprised at the extent of the knowledge base on the Net.
Speaking of Knowledge - do you remember the Books of Knowledge we used to read when we were younger? I couldn't get enough of those. I loved the stories, the articles. Do you also remember the time that Mona used to let us memorize those articles on what gravity was, the push and pull of the earth, inertia, the different planets and how they rotated on their axis? It was the closest thing to education that we could ever get. I just hope that she was better at explaining things rather than just making us memorize paragraphs. In fact, I remember the photocopied brown, ruled papers, the school materials they bought us, like pencils, papers, the erasers with those eyes I loved to jiggle up and down.
After a few months of leaving - I left on May 25, 1990 - In July of the same year, mom and dad had me enrolled in the very school that Monsie, Nagi, Sandy and BimBim studied in - St. Scholastica's College, Manila. I was amazed at the number of books and notebooks that I had to bring on a daily basis. I loved the classes except for Filipino and History. Not because I didn't want to learn. It was only because I didn't understand a single word. That, together with the fact that I had no knowledge of what PE and HE meant. So, my classmates were like - 'where the heck did you come from? You from the U .S. or what?" One even said, "even if you study in the U.S. you should know what those stand for. You testing us? That's stupid." So I remember my face becoming real warm - I was blushing from embarrassment and I walked away from the group. That was the first day of class. My teachers were very nice. They always smiled and made it a point to answer all of my questions. I got good grades and became really good at working on projects they assigned us. Call me teacher's pet. Almost everyone called me Teacher's pet because I'd sit and talk with them, ask them about life, their children, what life was like for them. That's how I knew that the experiences we had weren't supposed to happen. My classmates always thought I was fishing for grades. I didn't even know what it was at the time. In fact, I loved talking to my teachers and the nuns rather than talking to mom and dad when I came home.
I only had a couple of friends but it didn't really matter. I was in the same grade as Mocca. But she was in a different section. She used to call me and ask me so much stuff like if I met the brother of so and the guy friend of whoever. I was like - no, I didn't really have time for that and it wasn't like mom and dad would allow me. She hurt my feelings sometimes by telling me that I was such a prude but that was okay. I kept everything inside. Sometimes, I was sad and a few moments later, I'd be okay again. The best place I always went to no matter what school I was in - whether it was St. Scholastica's College or Assumption or Philippine Women's University - it was always the Library. In there, I lived in my own world. I was in every book lover's paradise.
If there ever was a number of frustrations in school - it was the inability to fully understand Filipino and having mom and dad attend our Family Day or Sports days or other days in school. I used to be so envious of my classmates in Assumption who brought with them both parents and their siblings. I'd sit in the bleachers and just look at how happy they were. I'd be waiting and waiting and then finally one of my brothers would come. You remember Tong, don't you. Among all, he was the one who showed a slight interest in my studies and would attend some of my school functions. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate his presence. It was just different because I felt I needed mom and dad to be there for me. Even when I graduated High School - Tong was there. My parents were not. I was smiling for the camera but my heart was aching. Dad said he and mom didn't go because it was too warm. I said it was okay and that I understood. But it still hurt. I think what hurts the most is that I didn't let them know how I felt. I've been handling a team for two to three years. I feel bad when people don't speak up. I'm not a soothsayer who can guess what's on their minds. So I remembered how I was with mom and dad. Stupid huh?
No one helped me with research or projects. I had to do those on my own. It was good training ground I guess. Plus, I had the library all to myself. The librarians from the libraries in Elementary, High School and College knew me. That was my go-to place, my place of peace, quiet, solitude. To get lost in the world of books was always better than anything else. It's a miracle I didn't go crazy with the stuff that I was reading. You'd probably love it as well. I can't remember real well if you loved reading - I'm assuming you did. Almost all the girls who grew up there and who're out here would die for books. hahaha it's a term.
Anyways, as always - I hope you enjoy your day to day. If you love books too it'd be swell. We could go to the library or the bookstore together.
Wishing,
Marie
Note: Boom! yeah - this is another late post.
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